about me
last updated 2024-07-15
some personal bits. me sharing my experience as a human being.
some personal bits. me sharing my experience as a human being.
i am...
my name is silviana amethyst. I am
- a computational and visualizing mathematician
- a professor, teacher, researcher
- grossly underpaid for my skillset. i'm a phd scientist competent in 5 programming languages, in a public service job paid about $72,000/year in a 9-month salary, after tenure and promotion. my colleagues in computer science had a starting salary $40,000 higher than mine. why?
- a maker, 3d printer, modeler, and hacker. i'll take it apart, and maybe i'll put it back together
- a bicyclist, not "seriously" but for fun, health, and to replace driving
- a smeller of my food before i eat -- very slowly and almost never to full
- someone who feels anxiety at capitalization
- an atheist who demands evidence
- a great cook
- a tight hand holder
- a transgender woman
- a feminist who continues to learn what it means to be a feminist
- willing to apologize when i fuck up
- a proud slut
- not on social media
- a free thinker and questioner of everything
- a c++ programmer who loves templates and error messages from the compiler
- an Eagle scout -- trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. ok, i kinda fail at a few of those, but they're good aspirations.
- dedicated to enthusiastic affirmative consent, and not just in the bedroom or dungeon
- growing toward who i've always wanted to be
gender stories
In reverse chronological order
- lowercasing -- thoughts about why i often use lowercase letters for my name
- policing bathrooms -- an essay written in reply to a friend training to be a police officer. cw: transphobia, police
- naming systems suck -- fuck all computer systems recording and using names
- useless meaty fuckhole -- a reflection on a phrase i received in a piece of trans hatemail. cw: transphobia
- guys is lazy -- an argument that the use of guys is linguistic laziness
- reflections, 1.75 years in -- meandering thoughts
- supposing a cock -- an essay about dating as a post-op girl, and the pass/reveal double-bind. cw: transphobia
- loving myself -- a love poem to myself, written for an open mic night
- questions -- perspectives on people asking me questions "as a trans woman"
- guys is not gender neutral -- i'm not a guy; stop misgendering me, please
- gender timeline -2018 -- a graphical depiction of my gender through this date, lovingly prepared using all my diagrammatic skills in Inkscape. cw: suicide
- accepting that I will be forever deadnamed in my publications -- a perspective on knowing that my deadname will always be with me
- my pronouns -- a little piece about she/her/hers
personal thoughts
in reverse chronological order
- leaving -- why I am leaving my tenured professorship and fleeing the US in 2024
- interlinked -- a poem
- my pandemic story -- an essay describing my covid experience 2020-march 2021. this is a rather negative piece. cw: transphobia, suicide
- social media is challenging -- an essay on how much i struggle with social media of all forms, why i don't use it, and how i request you use it when you're around me