personal
some personal bits. me sharing my experience as a human being.
i am… ¶
my name is silviana amethyst. I am
- a computational and visualizing mathematician
- a scientist, researcher
- a former teacher
- a maker, 3d printer, modeler, and hacker. i’ll take it apart, and maybe i’ll put it back together
- a bicyclist, not “seriously” but for fun, health, and to replace driving
- a smeller of my food before i eat – very slowly and almost never to full
- someone who feels anxiety at capitalization
- an atheist who demands evidence
- but also, rethinking spirituality, and finding evidence all around me
- a great cook
- a tight hand holder
- a transgender woman
- a feminist who continues to learn what it means to be a feminist
- willing to apologize when i fuck up
- a proud slut
- not on social media
- a free thinker and questioner of everything
- a c++ programmer who loves templates and error messages from the compiler
- an Eagle scout – trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. ok, i kinda fail at a few of those, but they’re good aspirations.
- dedicated to enthusiastic affirmative consent, and not just in the bedroom or dungeon
- growing toward who i’ve always wanted to be
gender timeline - 2018
a graphical depiction of my gender through this date, lovingly prepared using all my diagrammatic skills in Inkscape
my pronouns
a little piece about she/her/hers
deadnaming in publication
accepting that I will be forever deadnamed in my publications
Reflections, 1.75 years in
meandering thoughts
Guys is not gender neutral
i’m not a guy; stop misgendering me, please
social media is challenging
an essay on how much i struggle with social media of all forms, why i don’t use it, and how i request you use it when you’re around me
loving myself
a love poem to myself, written for an open mic night
questions
perspectives on people asking me questions ‘as a trans woman’
Guys is lazy
an argument that the use of guys is linguistic laziness
supposing a cock
an essay about dating as a post-op girl, and the pass/reveal double-bind
useless meaty fuckhole
a hopefully humorous reflection on some hatemail
my pandemic story
an essay describing my covid experience 2020-march 2021. this is a rather negative piece. cw: transphobia, suicide
naming systems suck
fuck all computer systems recording and using names
policing bathrooms
an essay written in reply to a friend training to be a police officer
lowercasing
thoughts about why i often use lowercase letters for my name
leaving
why i am leaving my tenured professorship and fleeing the US in 2024